Live

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 21:33:16 GMT

LAAAAA TORTURAAAAAA

Ay payita mía
Guárdate la poesía
Guárdate la alegría pa'ti

No pido que todos los días sean de sol
No pido que todos los viernes sean de fiesta
Tampoco te pido que vuelvas rogando perdón
Si lloras con los ojos secos
Y hablando de ella

Ay amor me duele tanto
Me duele tanto
Que te fueras sin decir a donde
Ay amor, fue una tortura perderte

Yo se que no he sido un santo
Pero lo puedo arreglar amor

No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.

Solo de errores se aprende
Y hoy se que es tuyo mi corazón

Mejor te guardas todo eso
A otro perro con ese hueso
Y nos decimos adiós

No puedo pedir que el invierno perdone a un rosal
No puedo pedir a los olmos que entreguen peras
No puedo pedirle lo eterno a un simple mortal
Y andar arrojando a los cerdos miles de perlas

Ay amor me duele tanto
Me duele tanto
Que no creas más en mis promesas
Ay amor es una tortura perderte

Yo se que no he sido un santo
Pero lo puedo arreglar amor

No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.

Solo de errores se aprende
Y hoy se que es tuyo mi corazón

Mejor te guardas todo eso
A otro perro con ese hueso
Y nos decimos adiós

No te bajes, no te bajes
Oye negrita mira, no te rajes
De lunes a viernes tienes mi amor
Déjame el sábado a mi que es mejor
Oye mi negra no me castigues más
Porque allá afuera sin ti no tengo paz
Yo solo soy un hombre arrepentido
Soy como el ave que vuelve a su nido

Yo se que no he sido un santo
y es que no estoy hecho de cartón

No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.

Solo de errores se aprende
Y hoy se que es tuyo mi corazón

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 04:11:03 GMT

tonight was AWESOME

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 00:04:36 GMT

sucks for you, NASDAQ. i don't know what they're going to do without the u.s. market.

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 22:41:41 GMT

I wish I could see or be in a solo dance like this one:

If only you could see the way you dance. If only you could watch yourself. I don't mean in a mirror, but rather, through another dancer's eyes. You could make Balanchine jealous.

When you dance, the world hushes. When you dance, time stops.

Your arms move more freely than the wind, and the rest of your body follows the same way night follows day. You dance to the beat of your own heart, making everyone else struggle to mimic your movement. Your body moves like a long, dark lullaby--but you lull no one to sleep. On stage, they can only watch you. You create your own spotlight. No one can keep their eyes off of you.

*lights dim, dancer begins to twirl*

You make the studio surreal. And at the end of your dance, the room is very heated. Everyone can feel the physical pressure and tension you've created. It feels like something's pushing down on your head and shoulders. And after your

heart
stops
beating.
You
drop
down.
And
you
stop
dancing ...

A tear rolls down every person's cheek and hits the wooden floor.
It's still dead silent, but you can feel the applause in the air. No one knows what to do or say, because they've never been so moved.

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 06:09:46 GMT

1. WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR LJ USERNAME?: there really is not story
2. NAME FIVE [5] OF YOUR FAVORITE PIG-OUT FOODS: Pizza, ice cream, cellery sticks, starburst, and ... i really don't pig out that much anymore
3. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A MAKEOVER?: not reeeeally
4. NAME ALL MEMBERS OF THE BEATLES: john lennon...ringo star...paul mccartney, who's the other?
5. WHAT'S THE LONGEST TIME YOU'VE STAYED OUT OF THE COUNTRY/WHERE?: 2 months
6. ONE THING YOU'RE GRATEFUL FOR, TODAY?: my brain!
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MEMORY: the blurr that freshman year was
8. WHAT IS THE MOST INSANE THING YOU'VE DONE FOR/TO YOUR CRUSH THAT HE/SHE MIGHT NOT/MIGHT KNOW ABOUT?: um...being alive.
9. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING: ...as materialistic as it sounds, i really do want a huge, fairy-tale wedding
10. WOULD YOU EVER JOIN TEMPTATION ISLAND?: tacky!
11. NAME THREE [3] TEACHERS YOU LIKED IN HIGH SCHOOL/ELEMENTARY: Ms. Exler, now MRS. Lazarro
12. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE QUOTE? "I could never learn how to say anything well with my mouth, or write anything interesting with my fingers; that's why I'm learning how to speak with the rest of my body."
13. MY FIRST HEARTBREAK HAPPENED WHEN?.: Freshmen year
14. THE SCHOOL PICTURE YOU BURIED IN YOUR BOTTOM DRAWER?: my mom kept all of them
15. DO YOU HAVE ANY WEIRD PREFERENCES? WHAT ARE THEY?: i asked natalie: surfer boys! (but honestly, if you can daaaaaance...)
16. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?: The penis.
17. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?: LA TIPSAY!
18. NAME ONE TV CHARACTER YOU'D MOST WANT TO BE: KIM FUCKING POSSIBLE!
19. IF YOU WERE FAMOUS, AND WERE TO BE A GUEST ON A TALK SHOW, WHOSE SHOW WOULD YOU CHOOSE? WHY?: ...Conan or...the guy that has all the strippers on his show.
20. GIVE YOURSELF A PORN STAR NAME: ...edward.
21. DO YOU HAVE ANY WEIRD SLEEPING HABITS?: hmm...i can't stand any light or sound
22. WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO THIS SUMMER?: work on myself spiritually
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG RIGHT NOW?: "quand on cherche l'amour"
24. WRITE A LINE FROM ANY SONG: "suck my kiss"
25. DO YOU KNOW AT LEAST ONE DISNEY SONG BY HEART? WHICH ONE?: ...hehe...of course not
26. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM HOUSE: a large white house near the beach with lots of light wooden floors and open space
27. YOUR TYPICAL SLEEPWEAR: boyshorts and tank top
28. WHAT'S IN YOUR BAG?: wallet, keys, lip gloss, mascara, mirror, The Collossus of New York, and mints.
29. WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET?: a few bills, library card, credit card, starbucks card, school ID
31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PAIR OF SHOES?: my red mary janes
32. IF YOU COULD'VE GONE TO YOUR SENIOR PROM IN A DIFFERENT OUTFIT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: Ask me in two years
33. HOW WAS YOUR SENIOR PROM?: See above.
34. TELL US ABOUT ANY OF YOUR BIRTHDAYS: 15th because my friends threw me a surprise party--i love them more than anything!
35. WOULD YOU RATHER BE A HOBBIT, AN ELF OR A DWARF?: elf, cuz they're hot
36. WHAT ARE THE FIRST FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD SPLURGE ON IF YOU WERE A BILLIONAIRE?: clothing, shoes, and jewelry go in ONE, and for the rest um...books, home accessories, travel, and technology
37. WHAT IS YOUR DAILY BEFORE-GOING-TO-BED RITUAL?: shower, brush/floss teeth, evaluate my day, pray, read
38. WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST/FUNNIEST NICKNAME ANYONE HAS EVER CALLED YOU?: lubersnot---oh kath and kalina
39. NAME THREE [3] OF YOUR FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTERS: kim possible, brain, and johnny quest

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 05:39:05 GMT

So ... I've been thinking a lot lately, and trying to work on myself. I truly think I've finally let go of any bad feelings for anyone I've had them for this year. And believe me, it's been a whooole lot of people. I've been a bitch, and I apologize for it. This year has been one of growth for me, and I'm finally realizing that I don't have the energy or time to spend associating with people/things that cause me discomfort. Hopefully this summer will involve a lot more growing and enlightenment.

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 01:58:18 GMT

i love thinking about/dicussing different religions. it makes me feel like my heart is growing.

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 19:54:32 GMT

I wonder what it would be like living alone in the city. I guess it could be pretty cool, but at the same time really scary. Cool, because then I would feel completely in control of what I was doing every day. There would also be so many random things I could do. I've always wanted to just be able to take a notepad and a few books with me to an obscure little coffee shop and write letters to my family and friends.
Of course, then I have to mention just being in the middle of all the buzz. There would be so much life everywhere; so many people going places, meeting people. It'd be nice to watch everything happening so quickly, while my own world goes by in slow motion. Scary, but interesting.
At night, there would be parties, raves, and clubs. But most nights, I'd probably just go out and take a walk through the city by myself or with a friend if I had any friends in the city. It'd be awesome seeing all the lights everywhere. I'd also love going to the Ballet once a week, or the opera.
My life would be amazing if I had a job with hours so flexible that I could spend hours at bookstores during the day. I never feel alone or bored in a bookstore. I could live in one.
I'm talking about all of this, assuming that I'm completely self-supporting, with no friends or family in the city with me. Starting completely anew. But I know I'd hate that. I have to have people close to me. I'd rather die than not have friends and family that I could go to. Honestly.
It's all a dream, though. I highly doubt I'll ever be living in the city by myself. Especially in Manhattan, because I'm certainly not rich enough for that! Maybe with a roomate, though, and it's not like it would have been in Soho anyway, as much as that would rock.

Paris, on the other hand, is COMPLETELY tangible. It's not quite as expensive there, and I can speak the language well. I already have friends and family there, so why not. I'd like that.

Daaaance me to the end of love

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 03:00:37 GMT

The first real day of summer has been alright--haven't done anything too special yet. I started my day by waking up really late, and getting online right after. I talked to a few people, and then got bored ... so yeah. I would've gone to school to take a rationals test for Ms. Trombetta, but since I could honestly care less about grades now, and I didn't bother showing up. It was only worth 8 points, anyway. Screw that. I ended up going back to school a few hours later to drop off Ms. Mangravitti's book. Le Petit Prince--go read it now, in english, whatever. It's deeply philosophical, and it'll teach you a lot about human desires. It's very interesting how childrens' books teach us the most.

I made a to-do list earlier, and didn't realize how much it actually helps. I accomplished so many more tasks after I'd written everything I needed to do out--it's surprising. I gave Lucky a bath and everything. It was sweet.

Went to work later ... it was boring. BUT--shady, gizzo, natalie, jordi, and judy all came at different times so it was cool seeing them. My mom still wants me to go work at the library, but I'm like ... no ... I adore Harry's! Everyone there is so much fun. And listening to Brandon rap ... makes your LIFE.

I <3 Katie Holmes. She's adorable and I lurve her! --->RANDOMMMMM

So anyway ... I don't really have much else to say. I feel like everything's happening really, really fast. A little too fast. I got my permit booklet today. So I have to read over that a few times before I take the test. But meh ... that's not what I was trying to get at. I'm trying to say that I feel like everyone knows what's going on, and where they are spiritually. I don't even know what I'm doing tomorrow, except for baking myself as brown as a baked potato with Kelly, but that's it ... And I'm still joking around! LUBI SHUT UP. URGH. I kind of feel like life left me out for a little while. That sounds terribly emo and I hate emo things, but I don't know how else to put it. I'm going to stop talking about that. Except I'll mention one more thing similar to it. It seems as if my parents think I'm a complete adult now --- that I barely need them. That's so untrue. They're my backbone. I want to call out to them and be like I STILL NEED YOU AND LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU TO LOVE ME LIKE YOU DID WHEN I WAS FIVE, except for I know I can't say that. They'll just laugh at me and think I'm being immature. Which I am, because I don't need them for every little thing anymore, but it wouldn't hurt if they acted more parental ... I don't want them to be my FRIENDS. I have friends. I need PARENTS. Maybe they're just evolving. We all are; I'm just the complainer who's trying to hold back. It's not working, though. It'll come out all weird. I know it will. And who knows, maybe it'll all end up being bueno in the end, but I'm not so sure.

That was long-ish? Right?

IT'LL ALL BE BUENO. I PROMISE! not.

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 14:39:13 GMT

Virgo
August 23 - September 21
You may think that we are all a little bit too isolated, dear Virgo. You would like for good, old-fashioned community spirit to once again become part of our lives. You are the one to take the initiatives to make this dream a reality, either in your professional or private life. The possibilities are many. And you can count on some support. There are others who feel as you do.

How crazy is THAT? Because I have been whining about everyone being too independent foreeeever!

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 02:10:39 GMT

Getting older really sucks. You realize your parents aren't perfect. I love them both more than I show it, but they're just ... I dunno. My dad quit smoking. I'm very proud of him, but it changed him. He's always with his friends, and he pays a lot less attention to me. My mom still pays a lot of attention to me, and I'm starting to feel more comfortable around her. I don't really want to, though, because then she starts to share all of her problems with me. I mean ... I really want her to have someone to confide in, but I wish it could be my dad because I realize I really liked being ignorant and blind to all of the issues that come up in people'slives.

The good news is that my dad is still and will always be my knight in shining armor. I know he'll do anything for me. I can talk to my mother more easily now I guess...I contradicted myself a bit there, but oh well.

And I keep wanting to burst into tears because we're all growing up and becoming more independent. And all of us are drifting. I don't want to drift from my parents and my friends.

Can't we rewind to age six?

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 02:01:48 GMT

Summertime,
And the livin' is easy
Fish are jumpin'
And the cotton is high

Your daddy's rich
And your mamma's good lookin'
So hush little baby
Don't you cry

One of these mornings
You're going to rise up singing
Then you'll spread your wings
And you'll take to the sky

But till that morning
There's a'nothing can harm you
With daddy and mamma standing by

Summertime,
And the livin' is easy
Fish are jumpin'
And the cotton is high

Your daddy's rich
And your mamma's good lookin'
So hush little baby
Don't you cry

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 21:45:51 GMT

btw, JOEY IS AWESOME AND HE HAS SEXY HAIR!

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 21:35:17 GMT

Okay--I haven't surfed since last summer and I miss it like crazy....sooo who wants to take a roadtrip to key west where they've got pretty good waves after august 6th, because that's when the ocean turns over?!

the ocean turns over? what on earth are you talking about, lubi?

well, you see. on august 6th, there's a shift from the first half of the year; the 'cold half,' and second half of the year; the 'warm half.' that's because the water does not warm up until after augsut 6th. it spend the first part of the year warming up, and then stays warm from august 6th and on. that's why they have all major surf competitions in the late fall and early winter because that's when the water's most warm in the tropics, believe it or not. it's actually it's coldest at the beginning of summer.

what does turning over mean, though?

because the shift occurs deep in the earth's water trenches, there's sort of an earthquake really deep under the water, which you can't feel. the most that can happen is really a thunderstorm or minor hurricaine. but nothing life threating. so anyway, all of the seaweed, crabs, shells, etc from the bottom of the ocean emerge on top, which is also why there's an abundance of jellyfish in the later seasons.

and the whole point of that was .... the surf is better after august 6th. and once you surf your first big one you'll feel like one cool monkey so let's go!

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 20:52:22 GMT

So this weekend's been funnnn.

After finals on friday, I went to go look for a pool to sign up at, and shopping. And then on saturday, went to a concert with kelly, kat, n anj. We ended up sleeping over at Anj's afterwards. And then today was Candace's grad party!!!

i love you

Sat, 11 Jun 2005 03:32:42 GMT

this is the first time i've ever felt a real connection to my mother

we had a fight earlier, and she came into my room about an our or so later, sat down on my bed, and said with tears in her eyes:

"you are my child. you are my skin, my hair, my eyes, my emotions, my life. i love you so much. please know that."

i couldn't type that without crying--i feel so bad for always saying i don't like the way she treats me because i really do love her

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 01:03:01 GMT

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

<3 R.Frost, you make my life!

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 14:14:11 GMT

What a great day yesterday was <3<3<3

First, I woke up around 11 P.M. and made plans with Anjali. Kelly had to work later so it sucked that she couldn't come. :( But Anjali, Turner, and I went to see the Lords of Dogtown! It was freaking amazing! Surf/skate culture exactly how it should be. Then we went to my dance recital. It was cool because I liked knowing that I had support out in the audience because my parents could only come on friday, but not saturday. So the recital went really well; and Anjali got to see the hottness of Caesar Rubio & Kyle Franklin. ooooh how I love male dancers. :) And they're not gay, either, which is surprising.

Then my mom took the three of us to Starbucks ... which was quite weird because she was in way too good of a mood--and so was my dad, which Anj pointed out. They're never that happy ... hmm. Maybe they were drunk! We dropped Turner off and then came back to my house and Anjali slept over and it was fun fun fun. I made her a tampon necklace. :) I'm so happy she and Turner came. I love them together!

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 19:34:16 GMT

Uuuuh ..... so I have two dance recitals this weekend.

Come if you can! You get to see me make a fool of myself in a completely ridiculous costume!

Friday at 7:30 P.M. at High Point High School, and Saturday at 4:00 P.M. again at High Point.

Tickets are .... i dunno. Madre and Padre got them for like 10 dolla? yes? 10 dolla?

SDS REPRESENT

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 19:28:36 GMT

How awesome is this???

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 00:51:46 GMT

anyone wanna help me me make a layout? i have NO idea how :(

Mon, 30 May 2005 23:19:36 GMT

choose your words carefully.

i'm getting so much better at this

Mon, 30 May 2005 03:40:19 GMT

rtyofewtncgwfuydatnxgrf7y ck97e9sfh86tfgwe93f3rtfboavsl evadlj avfwaweoigasohkawo9u

THAT'S ME BEING FUCKING PISSED OFF

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah i'm so pissed i don't even know what to do god damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURGH I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW

Sun, 29 May 2005 03:29:08 GMT

http://glad.best.vwh.net/montaigne/essay17.html

veeeery interesting

Sun, 29 May 2005 03:23:38 GMT

in a world full of corruption, how do you survive? how do you avoid all of the materialism?

i'll create an object. something beautiful--i'll make it sparkle; i'll make it shine. i'll add jewels; spend all of my time. i'll give it a price. i'll make it my world. and then i'll burn it